One night stand child?

I麓ve a girlfriend, we麓ve been together for a couple of years now. Ten months ago, she was out of town for a couple of months, our relationship was not at it best, we were arguing a lot at the time.


One saturday I went out with some friends to a party, I met a girl, we talked, drank a lot and danced until the party was over, we clicked somehow, so she and her friends wanted to go party somewhere else, so we went to an after party, I was having a good time, it麓s nice to be liked, even if you麓re in a relationship it麓s nice to feel attractive to someone else. I remember the exact date and time, it was almost 9 a.m., Sunday, when we decided to end partying and go to sleep, I was wasted, at some point we started kissing, one thing led to the another and we had sex in one of the empty bedrooms of the after party apartment, unprotected and stupid sex, I don't even enjoyed it, it麓s awkward for me to have sex with strangers, it麓s not that I have any intimacy problems, it麓s just that I prefer to actually know a little bit more who I麓m with, it use to make it more enjoyable and interesting when I was single, It's just how I feel about one night stands, anyways, I woke up, still wasted, kissed her in the cheek and left. I felt horrible, all I could think was STD麓s. A couple of days later she found me on Facebook, I don't know how, she didn't knew my last name, and her message was something like " Don't ask me how I found you, haha", she invited me to a party, I said I had things to do and never talk to each other again.


I ended up going to a clinic to check myself up, everything was ok according to the exams. My girlfriend arrived a couple of months later and we kept on going with our normal life. Our relationship grew stronger, I definitely love her, she is my perfect partner. We have our ups and downs, we're young and struggling with our careers and goals. A normal young couple I suppose.


Three months ago I saw this girl's Facebook profile, and she was pregnant, 7 months pregnant. One night while trying to sleep, the thought of me being the father popped into my head, so, remembering exactly the date we had our encounter I did the math, it was exactly 40 weeks according to her expected birth date on her FB posts, I was shocked by the idea of me being the father, I couldn't sleep, work, party, eat or enjoy anything at all, this idea was haunting me. The child was born exactly 40 weeks from our one night stand. It's kind of weird cause it doesn't seem to be any father figure at all, it looks like a single mother thing in all of her facebook pictures, posts, comments, etc.


I'm very scared, everyday I woke up feeling that today is the day that everything is going to change cause she is going to contact me to give me the news. I also have a moral issue, how can I be doing all the things I do while there is a child of mine out there, I can't see my girlfriend's eyes now without thinking about that, I want to ask this girl if I have something to do with her child but i don't know if I'll be intrusive or assuming any responsibility, I'm a coward, I don't want my life to change but at the same time it's all I can think about, a child of mine and the consequences this will bring to my life. I feel terrible. I'm 28 years old, I'm about to move in with my girlfriend, we barely make our living in a expensive city. I don't earn much money to pay any child support, besides this can bring a lot of trouble into my relationship. I don't know what to do. The child is one month old, eventually I'll receive a cold water splash in the face, it's just a matter of time, or maybe she want to raise this child by herself, but how can I live with this, acting like I don't know anything about it, the math tells me everything. It could be someone else's child I know, but this girl didn't seem to me like that type of girl, one that would sleep with two guys in one week using no protection at all, I don't know. There are no facts in this situation, only my guess, but I'm obsessed with this thought, that any day I'll be held responsible for a child. Sometimes I think that if I'm the father, and at some point she wants something from me, I'll be there to support the child, but sometimes I think that she was awfully selfish, to create a life we need two parts and both parts should have an opinion, I'm not pro life or pro abortion either, I just think any one should have the right to decide what to do in any circumstances, any. I'm just confused, how can I live my life normally with this thought in my mind every day of the week, fear, confusion, secrecy, paralyzed by the idea. I don't want to be a father of an unplanned child with someone i don't love. Some words of advice would be useful, this is driving me crazy.|||Well if the thought haunts you. Then why don't you send her a friendly message and ask her how's she's doing with the pregnancy until she becomes more comfortable talking to you about it then ask her if the father of the child is happy or not and based on her answers you'll be able to tell.





If she says she doesn't know who the father is then you can offer to take DNA tests (if that's going to make you feel better) Who knows maybe you're not the father.





Another thing you should worry about, is your girlfriend, the love your life. Are you going to be honest with her and tell her the truth before moving in with her? I think you should.





You seem like a person with good conscious because you're thinking of all this but in order to feel better, you got to talk to both ladies.





Good luck.|||Nice going bro, sounds like you made some bad choices. Good luck.|||You wrote too much|||The 40 weeks counts from the start of her last period. If it was 40 weeks exactly then she would have been on the rag when you guys had sex and the chances of it being yours are slim to none - it's the guy she had sex with two weeks after you, he's the father.|||Grow some balls, ask the girl and do some blood test to know if it's really yours. Also "she doesn't seem like the type that would sleep with two guys in one week" umm considering the fact she slept with you after "knowing" you for a couple of hours makes it a little fishy to me.. She was able to do that once who knows how often she did that. Just check it with her stop being a coward and to be sure do some blood tests.|||My advice is to get a DNA test, privately if possible. If it is yours, then you deal with the situation financially and with your girlfriend. But that baby deserves a daddy, both monetarily and in person if you are the father. I hope you step up if you are.





My husband thought he was a father of a child from an ex for 3.5 years. He stepped up in every way, only to have DNA prove he wasn't. It devastated him, but at least he knows the truth. And to this day, we still have a relationship with that boy, who is now 14. His "real" father gave up rights last year after sporadically seeing him.





Don't be like that. Have the test. If it is your baby, then do the manly thing and step up to the plate. You made the mistake, so you must deal with the consequences. It isn't the baby's fault. Don't make that child suffer if it is yours.