Is it wrong to expect my husband to wake up during the night with our baby?

My husband and I had a baby 6 months ago, I have been the one to wake up w/her every night. I don't mind it I love her, and I know it is my responsibility as a mother., but I would love a break. I know my husband works hard and works long hours, but I also work, and bring our baby with me. I would just like him to wake up with her at least one night a week, is it wrong of me to expect this?Is it wrong to expect my husband to wake up during the night with our baby?No Not wrong at all to expect this. My husband is a heavy sleeper and he claims not to hear my baby get up. I would love the help in the middle of the night and maybe once get a good night sleep (which is probably impossible now that im a mom).Is it wrong to expect my husband to wake up during the night with our baby?
It isn't wrong per se, but maybe you both need to communicate and coordinate who does what and when. He probably has no idea how much stress this places on you if you haven't spoken up about it yet. Men can be clueless on matters like this sometimes.Is it wrong to expect my husband to wake up during the night with our baby?He should at least be able to wake up with her in the middle of the night on the days he doesn't go to work in the morning.
Not at all. If you are both working,then it's only fair that you share in the night waking too.



I breastfeed, so obviously i have to get up to feed them, but my husband used to help out by changing the nappy etc.



Don't feel guilty for needing break.Is it wrong to expect my husband to wake up during the night with our baby?my husband and I switched nights, we both work and we both have responsibilities, and we both wanted a child. So, he must do his part as well. I always found the night time routine to be the easiest and the most fufilling when it comes to bonding time. Those nights when it was his turn and he didn't 'hear' him I just kicked him and said "your turn" until he got up and did his thing.Is it wrong to expect my husband to wake up during the night with our baby?
NO! You both work and you both made that baby together. I'm constantly at war with my husband about the division of labor. Unfortunately I see no signs of a white flag for me! It's all about communication and compromise. Why should you have to be the one that is draggin @ss all day long?
I worked for the first five months of Emma's life. During that time we split everything...if she woke up at night...dishes....laundry, everything. Now that I stay at home, I do it. Unless I need a break, then daddy will step in. It is my job. Do you work full time or part time?Is it wrong to expect my husband to wake up during the night with our baby?
I don;t think its wrong. The only problem you might run into which is what I ran into is the fact that they sleep really heavy and the men don`t wake up! I only had the joy to sleep 1 night since my daughters been born (she is 3 weeks) because he had offered to do it so I went to bed with the baby monitor (currently in the midst of moving so she`s sleeping in the living room and I`ve been sleeping on the couch) and I let her cry for 5 mins before I realised he wasn`t going to wake up and booted him off of baby duty....it sucks! But I`ll do anything for my daughter so it isn`t so bad
If you are staying at home and your husband is supporting the household by working you should get up with her. If you are on leave and then will be returning to work shortly then you should take turns getting up with her when you go back to work.
No he should also help with the responsibilities to, he is the daddy he can help some.
That's not too much to ask. See if he will one night when he is off the next day.
If you ask a woman she will say you right but if you ask a man he will say differently.



My husband would tell me after the fact I didn't hear him, and say you should have just woken me I would have gotten up, but then when you do wake him up the next night it is 10 minutes before he even moves. Then he says your being too pushy when you wake him up a second time, it can be very aggravating.



This was very hard, because there was no winning the argument which he saw as not an argument because if I just got up then there was no problems, so sorry, but sometimes our hubbies are not very considerate about our sleep but when theirs is compromised everyone gets his crabbiness, and somethings are just not worth it.



good luck this will pass, and when baby gets a boo boo and daddy kisses it, it is never good enough so I just smile and remember all my long nights I put in and say so there, and got to tell you #3 is on the way and I already know what I am in for again.
Def. not wrong to expect it. you need to talk to him. My hubby works nights now but with our 2nd baby he worked days and i didnt really want him to get up as he is a very heavy sleeper and takes him a min to wake up where as i can wake up the 2nd i hear a baby cry. so what he does to help out is either get up in the mornings he is home and let me sleep in or watch them while i take a nap!
Of course it's not wrong for you to expect that! You probably should have discussed this during the pregnancy, but its still not to late! My fiancee have talked about this and he jokes and says he's not going to, but I know he will! Although in the beginning he would say, well since i'll be home on maternity leave he shouldn't have to wake up because he'll still be getting up early and will be on his feet all day! Oh, well is what i say! We had a baby together and both parents should be actively involved and I to will be going back to work. You need to sit down and talk to him and explain how tired you are and would love if the two of you could alternate feedings at night so you both can get some rest. This isn't the 1940's, mothers are not expected to do all the work and you shouldn't feel like you have to!! If you were a stay at home mom, maybe you could compromise and do more of the night shifts because your not also working ( not that raising a child isn't work)but you would be home and possibly better rested and he could help out when home from work. If your working too, you guys need to work out a deal that works for both of you.
does it take two to tango? you both brought the child into the world you should share all the responsibility. I had a baby 14 months ago and when she was new born we both got up in the night. One night a week is nothing you should take it in turns every time the baby wakes. being a full time mother is a job and it would have to be the hardest in the world.
no i think the dad (if together) should wake up and help with the things that the baby needs
It wouldn't kill him to do it on his day's off just to give you a little break...but don't expect much.
No, I don't think it is wrong of you to expect that. You need to rest too. You both made the baby so it is both of yours responsibilities.
It's not wrong at all to expect that. I couldn't even do it if I was in your position. Before I got pregnant I told my husband that if I get pregnant, he has to help me. If not, I will not get pregnant. Of course he said yes to me. So as soon as I had the baby, my husband and I agreed to switch shifts. Now my 4 month old daughter gets up like once a night and we both get up at the same time. My husband does her bottle and I change her diaper and swaddle her again. After that he feeds her and then the next night I would feed her. Your husband should be fine with it because you've been doing it for 6 months. I think he should not fuss about helping you out at all. Much props to ya for doing it all by yourself!

Keep in mind that we both work full time jobs, and if you do as well than you both should help eachother out.
No especially since you both work.I made a point to tell my hubby that this was OUR child %26amp; he was helping.Since I am a sahm I do usually take the night shifts just to be nice.I know that I do not have to %26amp; if I need help usually he will take over.But if I were working,everything in this household would be split 50/50.From baby duties to cooking,cleaning,everything.You have no reason to feel bad or guilty.She is his child too %26amp; just as much his responsibility as she is yours.Just have a talk with him %26amp; tell you need some help.If he refuses,I would go as far as to not cook for him %26amp; not do anything for him until he manned up and took some responsibility..
The first 3 weeks my husband and I were both up for every feed. When I was breast feeding, he would change the nappy (diaper), or sometimes he would just sit up with me while I fed to make sure it went okay, and we would both change the nappy.



After the first few weeks when my son was down to 2 night wakings, I did the first one while my husband slept, and he did the second.



My husband went back to work after 6 weeks off with me, so the 5th week I started doing it all on my own to get used to it, but knew that I had a bit of leeway. Since my husband has returned to work I do all of the night feedings. On weekends we take turns and work out who will be doing what depending on who's tired, etc.



For the 'I didn't hear the baby, you did' problem, we solved that by putting the baby next to whoever was going to do the waking (in the bassinette) and when he was in his crib, the monitor went beside the one of us who had to wake up.



I do think that your husband should be helping out at the very least, one of the nights. If you both work then it should be shared. It's your responsibility as a mother, but it's also his responsibility as a father and husband.
It isn't wrong of you at all...I also had this problem with my partner, it was really bothering me so I decided to sit down and talk to him about it, he was completely understanding and wakes up on the nights that he doesn't have work in the morning. Just try and explain how you are feeling and i'm sure he will be fine and understand. Some men don't do anything until they are told because they see you doing everything so well, they just assume your ok and your best at it!
You are not wrong at all. I am in your position but I dont work outside of the home. Due to her being preemie I am basically house bound and unless he in a ltolerable mood or inlaws help or my side helps I dont get to do anything .. Like tonight. He doesnt work tomorrow for his regular job but works for his aunt who I dont like very much becuase he treats her like gold but he thinks he should get to go to bed and not me. I am sooooooooo tired never get to sleep in the bed and feel like a single parent.