Ex BF one night stand. Wants to come back. What to do?

We had been in a serious relationship for 4 years. Living together as husband and wife for 3 yrs out of the four. Had our share of problems that in my opinion a high percentage of couples experience as well. Nothing out of the norm. In Jan 2010 we both agreed that we needed to end it because we were just not making each other happy and instead creating more hurt. Early Feb. 2010 he moved out to his sisters home. Kept in contact with one another. We love each other so much still just not showing how much we did love each other to one another. I have never loved a man like I love him. Turns out he feels the same but we both continued to agree that we could just not live or get back together. On March 8th, I called him and told him that I needed to move on and that I did not want any contact with him at all. No email, phone calls. This hurt so much but i felt that as long as I knew of him I would keep holding on to him. We did not hear of each other for about three weeks. Most difficult days for me. He emailed me on my bday which was a week ago to wish me a happy bday. We get to talking. We agree to meet. He confesses to me that three days after we broke up for good, He had a one night stand. TWO days later after they had sex, the girl calls him and tells him that she is suspicious that she is pregnant bc she missed her period. She takes pregnancy tests 8 days after her suspicions and stick is positive. I could not believe it and I still can't. Worsts moment of my life. He is devastated. Wishing death to himself. I never seen a man cry the way he was and still is. Tells me that what happenned happenned but that he cannot forgive himself for doing what he did while he still loved me as much as he does. Says that the baby cannot be his. He and I went to a fertility doctor once who tested his sperm twice and both times we were explained that once his sperm ejaculates over half of them are dead and the ones that remain alive were extremely weak. He asked girl for paternity test once baby born and of course she was insulted. Girls mother is demanding for him to accept responsibility not only of the baby but also of her daughter. I need some advise as to what to do. I want to give him the support that he needs. Despite what I am going through now bc of him I am still in love with him. I know him very well and i can definately tell you that this is a big big mistake on his part. He never cheated on me during the four years. Because we love each other so much we want to get back together but I am not sure what I should do. I am a very strong person and very well aware of what may come if this baby turns out that is his. Please help...Ex BF one night stand. Wants to come back. What to do?I believe I answered your other question too, and I appreciate more detail in your question this time.



I think I was the only one, of all your answers to tell you that only you can decide what you want to do here... most of the other answers seemed almost abusive, telling you to forget him and move on. Life isn't as simple as that really, is it?



If you still love him, and understand that he made a horrible mistake that he regrets... then maybe he has learnt a very valuable lesson from this experience. It may be worthwhile giving this relationship another chance to work. People do make mistakes and you sound like a wonderful and supportive woman.



Only you can decide what you truly want to do here. If he has issues with his fertility, then I would certainly suggest getting a paternity test done. It sounds like he is being honest with you and wants to make a fesh start with you (being someone he truly loves).



if you love each other, and feel as though you are strong enough to handle the news that this baby could be his - then I think you should give things another go. You will be kicking yourself later if you let him slip away again.Ex BF one night stand. Wants to come back. What to do?If you really want to get back together with him, ignore the girl's mother, he doesn't have to take care of the baby if he doesn't want to. And it shouldn't be your responsibility. I say she should just have an abortion, forget the whole thing ever happened, and don't contact the other girl's family ever again.Ex BF one night stand. Wants to come back. What to do?I seriously doubt that this baby is his. Quite simply is it biologically IMPOSSIBLE to do a pregnancy test at 8 days...at least 2 weeks has to have passed before the pregnancy shows up in a test, so if it shows up after 8 days then I'm betting the baby belongs to someone else and the girl your man went with must have been with someone else.

I know it will be hard to put this behind you, but I imagine your man was lost, confused and looking for affection. I bet he would have 100 times rather been with you than this woman, its just that she was there at the time when you two were separated.

I would suggest that if she goes through with this pregnancy you get a paternity test so you can be sure of the truth before questioning it eats you up inside.

If you truly that you can putting the past behind you and forgive / forget then I say make a go of it...if you still love him and can't live without him then sort things out before its too late! xxx