Had a one night stand...now what?

im 25 been married for 3 yrs. I had built up extreme hatred for my husband...he is physically/mentally abusive and controlling. We have no children and I honestly refuse to get pregnant by him. I had intentions of getting a divorce. I went on a work trip 6 months ago and had a one night stand. The guy is single and works for the same employer as me but only he lives 12 hours away. We still talk all the time and he confessed to me that he wanted to be with me. I had never even looked at another guy before this. I just had this amazing connection with this man that I had never experienced before. Here a month ago me and my husband finally separated. Then he calls me begging to get back together and he got on some medicine to control his anger. I went back to him....BUT there are 2 things wrong. One I committed adultery and no im not going to tell him cuz im afraid of him...he pushed me over a couch over an innocent message he found on my phone! And two I am obviously having an emotional affair with this guy. I don't love my husband and I don't think I can forgive him for all the bullshit he has put me through. The bottom line...Im not a person that does this. I obviously hate him or I could have never even thought about cheating on him. All I want is LOVE and I never have loved him the way I should. So now I am in a pickle. I go home every day dreading it. I am not saying that this other guy is prince charming but im kinda up for seeing where it goes rather than sittin back and watching my life pass by in misery. I would appreciate opinions...and please don't call me names cuz i know that is everyones first instinct!!Had a one night stand...now what?You have to get out of your marriage. Your husband will only get worse as time goes on. Everything you do will be treated as if you are cheating on him. Your husband will never miraculously change into the man you want him to be. He will always be controlling and abusive. Your best chance to have a healthy "normal" relationship is to find a man who knows how to and wants to treat a woman with the proper dignity and respect she deserves.



You will never know how your relationship with this other guy will turn out unless you get with him. It does not seem like he is the type of guy you want to spend the rest of your life with. Any guy who knowingly has an affair with a married woman is probably not exactly a faithful guy. But he may help you get back on your feet and give you the confidence to move on with the rest of your life.



There are a lot of great guys out there. I know you cn do better than the two guys you are talking about.Had a one night stand...now what?
Everybody deserves to be happy and is ultimately in charge of their own happiness.



Lifes too short.



When a breakup occurs... NEVER go back.



Oh and never cheat again. Get out first.



Goodluck!Had a one night stand...now what?Leave this mess now. Domestic violence ends in death on many occasions, you cheating could be the straw that breaks the camels back.
Leave your husband. He deserves betterHad a one night stand...now what?Be a real woman and hit the road. You're separated...make it final and move on.



We all make mistakes. Some can be fixed some can'tHad a one night stand...now what?
just masturbate
BYE BYE BYEHad a one night stand...now what?
Could you look up the definition of "one night stand" please?
Now what? Lay low and be discreet.
Why did you go back to him then? that's just bizarre.
leave before he finds out and then ur really in trouble. if he hit u when u didn cheat then imagine what he can do if he finds out u did, leave him like now that not cool. y not want to be with someone who treats u better
Leave your husband. You don't love him so the two of you will never be happy. Sounds like you have been through alot of abuse. I would suggest giving yourself some time to heal after you leave and discover once again who YOU really are before trying to jump into another relationship. I would put the brakes on this fairytale whim for now. I call it that because it seems "perfect" now as it is so much better than what you had emotionally at home, and plus, it was your fantasy world outside of your true reality. Don't get swept right in to another relationship before you've even put the first one to rest.



Remember love can be obtained from many sources and doesn't have to come from a romantic relationship. A woman who can make a man happy and truly be happy herself in a relationship, must first learn to stand on her own two feet.



The best of luck to you!
I don't know why you went back ? But you need to be single for a few months before you start dating again anyway. Your young don't in a hurry. Abuse will make you settle for something you don't want. If you need to leave, do it. but take a little time to heal before you start seeing anyone.

Sorry for all your pain.



jp
You may have just discovered yet another paradox in life: the one-night stand with this seemingly "prince charming."



He is gone when you wake up... and maybe you might not ever hear from him again.



So, it just goes to show that life is held up by a weak link in every aspect.



You're worried about being married and the "real" life passing you by... Well, I'm 28 and have never been on a date. Life will pass you by if it wants to. It is not in our hands to change. We can simply decorate it a little differently.
I am in a similar situation, only I have a child. My advice to you would be to get out before that happens. You deserve someone who can love you and treat you kindly. That's why you strayed. Deep inside you know this. You need to just tell him you can't trust him anymore and just don't feel the same. Get a divorce and pursue someone else.. someone who you won't be afraid to have a family with and spend the rest of your life with.. in happiness..
Ur trying to justify ur actions by claiming ur husband to be an awful person... If u don't love him u should not be w/ him. There was no reason to go back to him. If u claim to be scared of him WHY move back into a house w/ him?? I think u need to figure out ur own issues b4 being w/ anyone!! If u don't love ur husband then leave. I don't know if ur on here trying to make people feel sry for u but thats not gonna happen. U did wrong by cheating! If ur husband is abusive towards u then u shoulda left... Cheating was NOT the answer!