How do I get over my ex's one night stand?

I've recently broke up with my really great boyfriend and he still loves me. The thing is I cannot get over something he did before he met me!


Please read first before you answer. (sorry its long)





I lost my virginity to him so it's like something special. I also felt like I gave him everything since for the first half of our relationship he was a jerk and he even cheated on me. I never gave up until he cheated but I forgave him a few month later after a lot of conflicts and pain. He was able to change and bear with me. I was even violent towards him afterward.





Then we were perfect and happy, he did everything to make me happy and he swore that he will never find another women or love another. We spoke about getting married and having children..Anyway, I have this emotional disorder thing which cause me to get depress and etc. My ex had a lost his virginity to a girl who didnt even care before he met me and he had also had two one night stand with this middle age women when he just turned 18!





I dont know why I cannot get that out of my head. I get so negative about that and I want to murder those two females. First one didnt care and second one is an ugly fake boobie pedafile.





My ex said he thought the first girl was the right girl so he lost it to her. This, I try to understand because my friend also made the same mistake. Then I think about the one night stand, this I do not understand what is so special. My ex then said one night stand is bad because there is no connection but I question, 'Why did he do it again??'. He said having sex with me was like getting a second chance in losing his virginity. He said that I need to learn to believe him.





Anyway, he loves me so much and he is still waiting for me. I know that he is dying inside. I kept thinking about those two girls, I got so angry I broke up with him. I felt like I need to go have a few one night stand to get even with him before I want to date him again. When he kissed another girl during my relationship, I never got to face that girl. Until now, I still want to smack that girl in the head and kick her groin a few hundred time until she vomit out her brain. Her reason for kissing my boyfriend was because she gets abused at home.





I know I shouldn't think this way so I want to know how can I get over my feelings. I know what my ex did was from the past and he did it when he didnt even know me. I want to try to forget about those 2 female she had sex with (but im still going to hunt down that girl who he cheated on me with).





How can I learn to love him for what he is and forgive???? When I see his bed (where he did it) I feel like killing him and I say that there is no more future of us two since I cant stop thinking about it.


For who have read until here, I appreciate your time.|||So, your blaming him for something he did before you met?





And you, no longer a virgin, how will anyone ever forgive you???








Get real, people aren't perfect, if you're waiting for the perfect guy, you'll be single your whole life.





Sorry all this happened, get some perspective.





Go meet someone who's interested in you, that's not gonna cheat.








Luck|||stop right there ' all you are doing is eating yourself up with guilt.


and that is no way to live . forget about the other girls ' and move on .


you are better than that . think about what you have now ' and what you did not have before he came along .|||This seriously does not sound like it's working.|||Get a new boyfriend and seek some counseling.|||he's your EX!!! time to move on with your life...





find someone better...|||1. you can never ever dwell on your ex's previous life. It's not at all fair to either one of you. How is he ever supposed to know that he was gonna meet you after he slept with those two women.





2. stop harboring so much animosity- if you have all this built up aggression to these women, you won't be able to forgive him.





Finally, how can you love or forgive him, if you can't accept him for who he is. Some people are just not meant for relationships-maybe he's one of them-try building a trusting relationship as friends and then perhaps he'll be a better mate-good luck!





~Dr. Marie|||you really need to get over his one-night stand. It was before he met you. it seems like you had forgiven him for cheating on you while you were dating him but you can't forgive him for his previous one-night stands. And you say "Then I think about the one night stand, this I do not understand what is so special." --- the answer is that those one night stands WEREN'T special. They're not worth thinking about. I bet after giving his virginity to a girl whom he thought was the one but turned out not to be- sex became less special to him and he had those one night stands. But when he met you and fell in love with you, he found sex special again because he had finally found the one- you- or so he thinks until he realizes that you probably won't ever get over it.





and remember, those 1-night stands were done before he was 18. He was impressionable and for a single teenage boy, the offer of sex can be difficult to resist.





be careful about hunting down and hurting those girls who he had cheated on you with. It takes two to tango. Don't put all the blame on her. |||since u have had such bad feelings about him now,





U'RE NEVER GOING TO GET OVER THOSE FEELINGS , PERIOD.





u're still havin feelings for him coz, u've lost ur virginity to him n gave him evrything u got, n have gotten cheated on for that.!!








plz, don make the mistake of gettin on with him again.!! he's a guy who doesn't deserve ure love..!! the world is a huge place, some years from now, if u make the decision of moving on n giving on ur love n affection to some one who truely deserves it.. i PROMISE u ., u'll be the happiest person on earth..!!|||What a guy did before he met you is none of your business. If you can't get over it, it's your issue and in no way his responsibility. The kiss while you were together is a bit different. Did he kiss this girl, or did she kiss him? There's a difference. Still, if you love him and he loves you, get back together and go to counselling. I suggest you do this quickly, before the guy gives up on you.|||WOMAN, leave that man and DON'T forgive him! He's a cheater!


Once a cheater, always a cheater.


So what if you lost your virginity to him? This is only the beginning of a painful relationship where you will continue to get hurt. What if you married him and had kids, then he cheated on you...again?! He might even leave and you'd be a single mother.


Don't believe a word he says. Of course he feels shitty for having cheated. But you are a FOOL TO CONTINUE FORGIVING and letting this go. He will only keep playing you as the fool that will "let it go."


You need more confidence and self-worth than that. You are better than that.


Just leave the bastard and get a new boyfriend, there are so many more smart guys out there that care for their GF!





Stephanie|||The fact that you still love this guy after he cheated on you is puzzling. If you're the kind of girl that can forgive a guy after he cheats on you, then more power to you. I actually respect that, because I've been on the other end and genuinely felt like I made the biggest mistake of my life. I got back together with my ex but in the end she could never overcome the past and it didn't work out. Listen closely to your heart and follow what it says...|||Once a cheater always a cheater, it's time for you to move on. Maybe even get your hair done, get some nice clothes, and meet a new guy. Hopefully you'll make your ex jealous and he won't be able to live with himself and he'll join the peace corps or become a priest.|||He's your ex, move on. You'll always have a special place in your heart because you gave him your virginity, but it's obvious he doesn't love nor respect you. You deserve someone who loves and respects you, and you will meet that guy. Doesn't sound like neither one of you were mature enough to have gone that far in your relationship, but for your own good, move on. You deserve someone so much better!|||hmm, darling in the way you wrote i know that you are deeply hurts of the truth of his late relationship,





you have to thing deeply, r u want to work it again or not, if not get over it and have another guy.





But if you want to make it work, and still deeply in love with him, you have to forget his past and forgive him.





Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking,it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.